Meeting Gorilla

There is only room for one Gorilla in a meeting.  Gorillas frequently exert their position of real or perceived power to demand their will be done.  They speak early and often, dominating conversations and sucking up all the oxygen in the room.

What a handful this meeting animal can be! Interruptions, taking over the conversation giving others little time to speak, how do you tame this beast? I’m glad you asked! Let’s look at some of the options we have as a meeting leader.

Setting Expectations Before You Start

First, let’s take a look at the Pre-Frame. The Pre-Frame is a very powerful tool. This is because you are setting the expectations of the meeting before the meeting even begins. Setting the guidelines and expectations for the meeting gives the meeting lead the authority for keeping the attendees on track by asking for permission and having the understanding from meeting attendees that you will redirect the meeting as needed and ensure that all attendees will have a say.

The pre-frame establishes the expectation that attendees stay on target and that the meeting leader will take the responsibility for keeping the meeting on track. This is best performed during the initiation phase of the meeting or in advance of the meeting if you are managing a meeting that is at high risk of going off course.

Pre-Frame Sample

Here is an example of what a pre-frame might look like:

Before reviewing our agenda I want to mention that we have an aggressive schedule and are very tight on time. So it’s important that we stay on topic. If it looks as if we’re heading off course from our objectives. I’m asking your permission to get us back on track. Does that work for everyone?

What Have We Established?

With this pre-frame, we are establishing a couple of ground rules right from the get-go. The first is bringing to the attention of the attendees the importance of time and the importance of staying on topic. You as the meeting leader are reinforcing the importance of everyone’s time. The second is outright asking for permission from the attendees to make sure that the meeting stays on track. This gives the attendees a “heads up” in the sense that you will not hesitate to redirect them back to the topic at hand for the sake of time.

The Best-laid Plans of “Gorillas” and Men Often Go Awry

Now, this is all well and good, but we know this Meeting Animal all too well. Even though we have set the ground rules for the meeting we know, without a doubt, the Gorilla at some point in the meeting will start attempting to dominate the conversation. Luckily, we have already set up the pre-frame.

We have told everybody in the meeting how important time is and have also been granted permission for redirecting our wayward attendees. What we have essentially done is built ourselves a foundation for our next tactic to keep this mischievous meeting animal at bay.

Redirection Technique

Let’s take a look at a couple of redirection tactics to ensure we keep our meeting fast and focused.

First, we can try a soft redirect. This tactic takes a more sensitive approach and may need to be upgraded to a hard redirect depending on how stubborn your gnarly Gorilla might be.

The soft redirect follows a similar syntax to the hard redirect but is done in a more sensitive manner. The soft redirect is more appropriate for organization cultures and meeting environments where ruffling feathers is not welcomed.

Soft Redirect

Let’s get right into an example to better understand how the redirect works.

Meeting Leader: OK I appreciate where you’re going with this discussion, and I also know that we’re getting away from the meeting objectives we established. So in respect of our time together I suggest we move forward.

The approach here is similar to the hard redirect but is done in a slightly more elegant way:

• Interrupt the wayward discussion by “appreciating” their thoughts “and” letting them know that “we’re” straying from the agenda.
• Explain why it’s important to get on track.
• “Suggest” then where to go next and move on.

The language in the soft redirect is the key. Where the structure of the sentence is very similar to the hard redirect but uses specific language to appreciate their discussion and at the same time let the Gorilla and other meeting attendees know that the discussion is off-topic and for the sake of time it’s important to get back on track.

How did the Gorilla respond? Maybe the tactic worked, and all is well. Maybe you had to apply this tactic numerous times during the meeting. Or maybe, just maybe, the meeting Gorilla has taken somebody captive, climbed the tallest building in the city, and is letting out a monstrous roar while beating on his chest!!

..Ahem, anyways. Hopefully, your attendees are still safe and sound but perhaps slightly annoyed in a scenario where the soft direct didn’t put our Gorilla at bay. Let’s kick it up a notch with the hard redirect.

Hard Redirect

A hard redirect is the most simple and efficient way to get your meeting attendees back on track. However, because it is so direct, it might not be appropriate in every organizational culture.

Meeting Leader: OK, we’re getting off course, as this discussion is not directly related to our meeting objectives. In the interest of everyone’s time, we need to move forward.

 The approach here is simple and direct:

• Interrupt the wayward discussion.
• Explain why it’s important to get on track (that is, for the sake of time).
• Tell attendees where to go next.

The hard redirect is short but not so sweet, which is why sometimes a softer redirect is in order.

The hard redirect gets straight to the point. If you have a Gorilla in your meeting that is attempting to assert its dominance and hijack the meeting, this tactic may be best.

Segue Technique

I would like to leave you with just one more simple tactic. Occasionally meeting attendees will get entrenched in an area of dialogue that just isn’t going any further. Meeting attendees aren’t necessarily off track, but the discussion has clearly exhausted itself and there really isn’t any more ground to cover. This can happen in places of violent agreement where attendees continually reinforce each other, or in instances where they just get lost reflecting on and rehashing the recent dialogue. In any case, the path forward here is a simple tactic we refer to as the segue.

Meeting Leader: OK, well done, and that’s a great segue to our next agenda item.

The segue provides a clean (friendly) transition point for attendees while acknowledging the progress that’s been made.

• Interrupt the exhausted discussion.
• Acknowledge the progress made (for example, “well done”).
• Segue to the next agenda item.

The approach here is so straightforward, simple, and friendly and yet it’s a remarkably effective tool for moving meetings along in a very efficient manner.

How Did These Techniques Work For You?

Did these tactics help tame your Meeting Gorilla? Do you have stories of a Meeting Gorilla in your meetings? If so, how was it handled at the time, and was it effective?

Feel free to share your experience, past, and present with this meeting animal. Feedback on the Meeting Animals series is always welcome, tell us what you think!